Saturday we went to the local Renaissance Faire. Not historically accurate – just a big dress up party with fair food, crafts and comedy shows.
I generally miss the jousting because the arena is so crowded it’s difficult to see the action. I did get some photos of one of the horses being prepared. Either a full draft or more likely a draft cross, that was extremely fit and shiny.
And we saw this amazingly hairy bunny (among other things)…
Looking over my wishlists, they got a bit too muddled over at Amazon.com so I’ve started one dedicated to horse books and dvds. They can be viewed if you like. It gives a window into what I’m looking at 
I am thinking of getting Horse Agility and Hempfling’s book next. Looking at the Horse Agility Table of Contents, 1/2 the book is pretty simplistic for me but I think it will have some very good material overall and be an idea starter.
Revelations and breakthroughs come with a choice: you can either enter the Labyrinth and fight your monster, or you can return home to your safe, ordinary life.
When I’ve taught riding lessons, I’ve had student breakthroughs that were suddenly shut down by those who chose the latter path. They didn’t want to do the work involved (examining their life, changing old patterns, thinking through their relationships with loved ones, understanding the need for boundaries) and put up a wall composed of disbelief, concealed their inner selves to their own awareness.
As a teacher, these students were the ones who needed the most help, but couldn’t open themselves up to what was happening. Their fear held them back from fighting that monster and the joys of victory. These are the needy students at clinics, who suddenly freeze, drop the class midway through, or take the class with tears. In the end, they remain needy, clingy and with unresolved turbulent emotions that can’t be put back into the bottle.
Another type of student are those so deep in denial that they are impatient with the sobbing ones. They mutter stuff like: “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”, “stop whining and just get it done” and “what’s your problem?”
Horses, both as physical animals weighing over a 1,000 pounds with a flight response, and as an Archetype (sexuality, dark desires, the Unconscious, the animal that delivers us to the Underworld, a symbol of power) are both fearsome and heady stuff. It takes courage to be a Rider. The horse is not a steed for the weak. It’s why statues have rulers on horses, not peasants.
In Hempflings’ Dancing with Horses, all of the horses he dealt with in this book were stallions. All of them had rage issues related to human treatment. Hempfling’s message thoughout is not to face these horses with equal anger to “tame” or subliminate them but to match them with a calm energy that neither demands or gives in. This is the role of the just, compassionate ruler who, without instigating action, brings calmness to a violatable situation.
You can not be a shrinking violet when faced with the aggressive horse; nor can you be the tyrannical ruler. We must seek a balance in our nature, realizing that nature itself unbalances us. We must continually strive to be back in center. Few of us are at this point in our life so we must walk the Labyrinth, slaying – or perhaps embracing – our own personal monsters and coming to terms with ourselves as best we can. Sometimes that means monster-slaying takes up your entire week!
This weekend has given me some revelations about Z which, after 30 years, I am ready to understand (due to much monster slaying) and provide the support she needs. These revelations came about with the slow Masterson Method work, which required that I really take my time (I’m a Now kinda girl) and wait for Z’s feedback, and through the Reiki work husband did at another session.
As I’ve already posted, it became evident she was reluctant to release tension during the MM bodywork. You could tell she was hovering on the diving board, trying to make a decision whether to jump in and enjoy the water or climb back down that ladder.
It’s important that you understand that her hesitation was not due to fear. This horse fears little and she has absolutely no history of abuse. Instead, hesitation came from a deep survival need of never showing vulnerability. Her very, competitive and aggressive nature finds being soft abhorent!
I completely understand this on a visceral level and I have to admit, that discovering this in Z came as a surprise to me. It was a huge LIGHTBULB moment! Horses have so much within them to reveal it is astoinishing! This is where the real Magic is – not in some Big Name Trainers’ overpriced vegetable stick.
During husband’s Reiki session with Z, he touched her Brachial chakra and her head suddenly came up from eating grass. This happened three times – he touched, sent energy, and head came up! He said he got a feeling of surprise from her, which is not uncommon with horses when first given energy by a human. Which goes to show how smart horses are and how dumb they consider humans!
While I was watching, I always give feedback without looking at what he is doing. At one point, I said, “yes, there she goes” and he answered at the same time, “yes, she just accepted and gave a huge release.” What did I see? I saw a horse who stopped eating green grass, whose eye glazed over and became inward thinking to the point that I likened it to a horse who just received a major dose of Ace.
Went he went to the Sacral and later Root Chakras, he said he could feel her hesitation. She had something to release, wanted to release it, but it would take husband’s patience and guidance for her to let it go. It didn’t come out as a pain sensation but just very tingly. Who knows what it was? Most times you won’t.
After all this work happened, I had a lot to process. It now makes sense why Rugby Guy’s way of riding it out with applying more pressure and demands will not work with Z. It makes sense why RH’s training of overstimulation did not work with Z.
Faced with tension she will become more tense because this alerts her very base survival core. A survival core that finds it difficult to release even in a calm, supportive, slow atmosphere with people she explicity trusts.
I know now, in a deep way, that I am doing the right thing by stopping RG’s rides and taking Z under my own tutelage. She needs time and attention that only I understand. This is very exciting and opens an entirely new chapter!
Because of the weird weather we have been having, the experts predict an intense tornado season. Jolly. This week the worst blew threw in a strange, silent way with no rainfall, building it’s momentum before slamming Missouri and then Illinois. Yesterday, they announced fire danger so I think this will be what the next four months will hold. I think folks can look towards another drought year as rain is far below average. 
This has been a short week for Z as her first ride was today and she’ll have another tomorrow. Next week I”m aiming for three but then I go out of town for a long weekend.
I was a bit sharp with Rugby Guy today. I just want him to do it MY WAY and not explain how my way is not his way etc… For example, I like to gradually cinch/girth up a horse. Dear One came to me already girthy (her previous longterm owner used a tool to tighten her dressage girth and the result was a horse who would try to bite you every time you would girth up) and I really don’t want to deal with a horse like this again and there is NO REASON too! Just loop it up some, walk her to the mounting block, talk for a minute and then tighten. ARGH!
Anyway, I took control of the session and after that small tiff (I think RG was actually surprised I was so sharp with him but I wasn’t going to back down) about saddling everything went very well, although I am sure Rugby Guy thinks I am crazy and coddling my horse.
When Z refused to move, it was important for her to learn to move when asked. Now that the forward motor is engaged we need to fine tune that speed to be what we want. We don’t want a horse who thinks finishing a math test in record time and not doublechecking answers is the right way to do things. Rushing and speed doesn’t mean relaxedness or getting it right.
To accomplish that we worked only on walk, trot and turns. If she rushed or got tense we went back to the walk. She gives him a nice big walk when relaxed and we talked about what he was feeling under him and when it felt right or wrong and what we were wanting to achieve. Because I don’t really think RG has had this kind of riding training but he picked it up quickly what I was talking about.
We want to get that bigger stride at trot and this has been a problem because she likes to rush. We worked on slowing the trot down and if she really relaxed at trot, letting her go down to a walk. Eventually, we will stretch out the length of time we expect the relaxed trot to be maintained but for now walking was a good reward.
When you up the ante, a horse is likely to start to tense when a new request is given. For example, during the turns, Z started to rush and get tense again so at that point you let the horse “go large” (a bigger circle or all the arena), let them settle, and then ask again. The point being is to add in new stuff but to always return to relaxedness. Keep reminding the horse, yes this is what I want – this gets rewarded.
RG likes to slide back to neckreining and I don’t ride like that so I reminded him to use a direct rein. I also showed Rugby Guy how I wanted him to ask for the turn – use his hand out wider and slide it down the rein to get closer to the connection of rein/sidepull. By moving the hand outwards from the horses neck, it provides a baby-cue to turn. Z really can’t turn well yet by a hand signaling at the horn/pommel and needs this extra encouragement to bend (remember her stiff neck).
One of Z’s evasions is to go off the rail and start cutting the circle; RG wants to neck rein her back to the rail. I told him to ignore it as she is doing it as an evasion to avoid the trot work (doesn’t do it at walk) and she would give it up when she saw it didn’t work. It was nice to be proven correct because this was exactly what happened – she straightened herself out when this behavior was ignored and not rewarded.
The funniest thing happened – we were doing great and Rugby Guy gave a loud sneeze (the spring stuff is now flowering) and Z was OMG PANTHER SNEEZED****!!!! and jumped two feet sideways tossing her head. We all got a good laugh out of that but I wasn’t riding her hahaha.
BTW, at the end I rode her at a walk for a few circles YEEHAW!
This post is about why Rugby Guy is riding Z and not me. After all I do have the riding experience to do what he is doing and I’m reaching a point where I need to take over the training as there are things he doesn’t know how to teach her (i.e. giving to seat pressure being a biggie). So why is he riding her and not me?
Something you may not be aware of but since the death of Dear One I have not ridden much. I did go and ride Rock (one of Molly’s horses) with Molly two summers ago and caught a few rides on Big Guy before I decided to permnamently retire him post-Pelvic Fracture.
Not to be melodramatic about it but the simple fact is that after Dear One’s death, riding just didn’t seem interesting anymore. I seriously discussed with husband and my closest brother D, about giving up horses altogether. My heart is/was too depressed.
Having Rugby Guy has kept me on a schedule, keeping the consistency of Z’s training. Just like any exercise program, if there is another person involved I will stay faithful to my plan. It’s at a point that I meet him twice a week to watch the ride, and he rides two more times a week on his own. This frees up more of my time, while Z still gets worked. This works well with a new carpool situation I’ve set up for my son to get home from school.
There’s another key component as to why Rugby Guy is riding Z which I would like to let you know about. I’m getting older and I simply don’t bounce as well as I used to do. I’m not a kid any more and this last year I’ve had two injuries – one to my right leg that took 8 weeks to heal, and the shoulder injury which has taken a year to heal.
When I started interviewing potential riders I was looking for someone with a high-bounce factor. They needed to be willing to ride out bucks and spooks – and NOT GET TENSE. This is a real gift for a rider – to ride out something that is pretty damn scary and then just go back to the art of riding without missing a beat. You don’t see this type of riding except from people experienced with riding green horses on a regular basis.
Several of the folk I interviewed were just girls who wanted to be with horses. Nope. They would be shaking like a pile of Jell-O after Z threw them off during the first ride.
The next was a Cowboy-guy who was stolid and a bit stupid. He wouldn’t understand my directions (couldn’t even change his way of doing things when I asked him to brush my horse a certain way) so working with him would have been cutting stone with a butter knife.
Another person had quite a bit of experience but recently had a very scary accident on a racehorse (she was an exercise rider). She was going to use Z to “recover” and that simply wasn’t going to work either. One reason I gave up riding lessons was the need for my horses to teach anyone, anything. She could get her own horse for that.
No matter how advanced her skill level, the mind was going to kick the nervous system into overdrive when Z did a levitation act. Your nervous system reacts in two ways – one is involuntary so wishing you wouldn’t react isn’t going to stop your body from reacting, even if your mind intellectually says different.
In the end I chose Rugby Guy and he turned out to be the best to ride Z:
1.) He’s a bit of a thrill seeker. He told me about playing football with a buddy while they were both mounted on just broke two year olds who needed “de-spooking.” He’s into Mixed Martial Arts as he found other martial arts too tame. He keeps telling me he wants Z to buck him off – he wants her to show him what she’s got.
Is that me? Hell, no. Not me by a long shot. I’m cautious. I weigh the risks. I know what it’s like to be in the ER getting your head stitched back together. Thanks, got the t-shirt and not interested in another one.
2.) He rides the same whether it’s normal riding, or through/after a spook. He can maintain a level of relaxedness no matter if Z takes off at a canter. He told me that when they were in the pasture and she switched to canter he didn’t realize it for a couple of strides because the change was so smooth.
So far I haven’t seen anything that Z has done that I couldn’t have sat out. But I really doubt I could have maintained that level of relaxedness. This is a real art.
3.) After any naughtiness, he can demand that she continue her session. After something scary (like a buck) I might ride a bit more and then shakingly slip off. Rugby Guy can keep pushing Z’s buttons until she settles down into what he really needs from her. This is a big thing for Z to learn – behaving badly does not end work; intimidation does not work!
There are several reasons why I hired him to do it and I encourage anyone out there, that if due to time, injury, life or whatever, you need to get your horse rode, then find someone to do it! Don’t think it’s wimpy to pay for riding or not upholding the Macho-Horse-Woman image.
Just pick the right person for the horse at the right time, and all will go well.
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